Our Christmas List
by katieupatree
Summary: Four years, four Christmases, four presents that might just alter the course of their entire lives. A story of fluff filled festivities for Castle and Beckett. Christmas 2015: "He listens to the whispered conversation that passes between his wife and their daughter, Kate's words a lullaby of their Christmases past..."
1. Christmas 2012

Hello everyone!

I really wanted to write a Caskett Christmas fic this year, but I wasn't sure on when exactly I wanted it to be set. So, I decided to write four intertwined one-shots, from Christmas 2012 to Christmas 2015. Each update will revolve around a Christmas present, with the next showing the impact of the present .  
Sorry, I'm probably not explaining this very well! I'll let you have a read for yourself ..I hope that you enjoy the first chapter.

Disclaimer: Everything and everyone belongs to their rightful owners, I am simply borrowing them for a little while.

* * *

**Christmas 2012**

When Castle had asked her to join them for Christmas day, Kate had been more than a little unsure of her answer. In the years after her Mother's death, Christmas had only served as a bitter and painful reminder of what could have been; of the life that was so viciously stolen from her family. Her memories of making snow angels and leaving out milk and cookies for Santa had been tarnished by what followed; the years of watching as her Dad drank himself into oblivion and missing her Mum so desperately that it had been almost too much to bear, and she hadn't wanted her sorrow to ruin the day for anyone else. But, of course, in true Richard Castle style, he had somehow managed to talk her round, to soothe away her fears and her trepidation, leaving a Castle Family Christmas as the only possible option.

And my goodness was she grateful for it; for the wonderful man who never gave up on helping her to find a little happiness, and for his family who had so openly welcomed her into their home, their traditions, and their hearts.  
It had been a day that went a little way towards easing the ache of her grief; a chance for Kate to realise that the ghosts of her past didn't rule her life anymore, that with a little help from those she so greatly loved the holidays could once again become a time of twinkling lights, home-baked goodies, and childlike celebration. And that was a Christmas gift she would never forget.

So, as they fall back against the warm cushions of his sofa to watch one last film together, tipsy with mulled wine and limbs lazily tangled up underneath patchwork blankets, Kate knows that this, their first Christmas, is the opportunity that she has been waiting for to let him know how truly thankful she is to be a part of his life; her chance to finally be completely rid of the walls that have crushed her heart for such a very long time, to be brave and courageous in ways that wouldn't ever have been possible without Castle's love and patience.

Turning around in the circle of his arms, Kate is taken aback by the beauty that she finds within his ocean blue eyes, sleepy as they find her own and filled with all that she is trying to find the words to say. Taking one last burst of strength from the truths of his heart, she caresses the warm skin of his cheeks with her fingertips, drawing his attention to the words that have been dancing through her mind for the entire day, "I love you, Rick."

The smile that overtakes his features as she speaks is so beautiful that it takes her breath away, brighter than she's ever seen before and dancing with laughter as he replies to the whispered confession that he has been waiting for what feels like a lifetime to hear, "I love you, too."  
And then they are both lost to the magic of their first Christmas, lips pressed together in kisses of passion and lust and sheer, unguarded delight.

Lying in his arms that night, her fearless words of love echoed in every touch, every kiss, every heated whisper of their breath, Kate realises how foolish she had been to fear love, to be scared of the very thing that makes life worthwhile. But that didn't matter, not really, not anymore. Castle had given her the gift of a second chance, a life to be lived through happiness, and she wasn't going to waste it. Never again would she deny them the pleasure of love; the thrill of feeling it, of believing in it, of living for it.

* * *

To be continued..

I know that this chapter was a little short, but I promise the next three will be longer - and have a little more storyline!

Please let me know what you thought?  
Good or bad, I really would love your feedback.

Thank you for reading,  
Katie

Twitter: katieupatree


	2. Christmas 2013

**Christmas 2013**

She's trying to concentrate, really she is, but the cookie dough that sticks to her fingers in messy clumps of butter and chocolate chips is quickly becoming second best to the beautiful, ocean eyes that she can feel watching her. Their owner is leant jauntily against the doorframe, watching simply because he is allowed too, because secretly she has always felt special under his gaze, and not-so-secretly he has always known this. They still play their games of flirtation; he'll peek over the top of his latest angry birds update and watch as she scribbles her way through mountains of paperwork, and she'll tell him to _stop distracting her, _to _get some work done, _but they both know that her blushed cheeks are telling him to keep watching. It's always been a part of them, these almost secret moments that are as integral to their relationship as the cup of coffee he still brings to her each morning, and it is a simple pleasure that they don't ever intend to stop.  
But today it is more than that, more than anything they have ever experienced before; because today is Christmas Eve, and here she is, baking chocolate chip cookies in the apartment that became her home a little over three months ago, feeling every ounce of the pure Christmas spirit that reverberates through its rooms.

They had both woken up early, too early to even consider leaving the blissful warmth of their bed as the midwinter sun still tried to pull its way through the heavy clouds that had been threatening snow all week. No, they had had time enough to spare, to cherish. Languid hours of burning kisses and roaming hands, of rapidly beating hearts and tangled limbs that ached with the thrill of life and love.  
It had been the perfect start to Christmas; the last lingering doubts and trepidations that Kate had held over their plans for the holiday dissipating entirely with the loving words that Castle had whispered against her salted skin, breathless and perfect in their ability to soothe the harsh sting of her grief and sorrow. This was going to be a Christmas of celebration and happiness for everyone they loved, and Kate intended to enjoy every second of it. Too much of her life had been spent under the veil of her past, and now that had to stop. Last Christmas she had made a promise to herself to live not for revenge, but rather to honour her Mother's memory through a life lived to the fullest, and that was a promise she intended to keep.

Despite both longing to stay wrapped in the warmth of their morning love for the entire day, eventually they had been forced to give in to the list that was taped to the fridge door; the first of many Castle-Beckett family Christmases was calling!  
And so, with one last kiss to see them through, Castle had headed for the shower and Kate made a start on the cookie recipe that been passed down from her Grandmother, a special treat to add the finishing touches to their Christmas of beautifully melded traditions.

Which brings them back to the present; to his eyes that watch her, utterly captivated by the tantalising curves that hide beneath his old, cotton shirt that she claimed as her own years before, legs impossibly long as she skates about the kitchen on bare feet, and to her quickly faltering resolve to ignore the temptation of his toothpaste kisses, to resist the draw of his lemon scented skin that is begging for her touch, her caress.  
Sometimes Kate feels as if they are two teenagers fallen in love for the first time; wonderful, reckless, can't keep their hands off of each other love, and the joys of Christmas have seemingly served only to magnify their need for one another. Not that she minds; Castle is her addiction of the best possible kind.

Shutting the oven door with a bump of her hip, she turns towards him just quickly enough to catch his eyes lingering on the sway of her body, a knowing smirk tugging at his lips as he pushes off from the doorframe and makes his way towards her.

"How's it going?" he asks, voice filled with childlike excitement.

"Just need to wash up," she says, gesturing to her chocolate covered hands, "and then the kitchen is all yours."

Catching hold of her outstretched arms, Castle pulls her flush to his chest, the air around them electric with lust and desire as his breath teases the delicate skin of her neck.  
"Let me help you wash up," he sighs, drawing her ever closer to the heat of his embrace. And just as he has her completely entwined with seduction and longing, _body and soul aching for his love_, his lips capture her own in a quick, teasing kiss, eyes bright with mischief and laughter filling the kitchen as his tongue swipes across the cookie dough that clings messily to her hands.

Cheeks rosy with being so easily caught out, she stands with arms crossed and brow furrowed as he enjoys her embarrassment far too much. "Not funny, Castle!"

"Oh, sweetie," he coos, still laughing as he wraps his arms around her and presses a kiss atop her forehead, "it was a little funny."

Ok, maybe it was _a little funny, _but it certainly wasn't fair! Castle has gotten far too good at teasing her, and she fools for it every time.

Unfurling her arms from the press of his chest and leaning back in the safety of his arms, she dances her still chocolatey fingers in the air and smiles brightly up at him, "Come on, writer boy, they'll be here soon."

"But, the cookie dough?" he pleads, looking every bit her nine year old on a sugar high.

"Don't worry," she giggles, words tumbling over her shoulder as she makes her way through to the bathroom, "I saved you the bowl."

* * *

Somehow they manage to keep their hands off of each other long enough to be ready on time; the apartment is a winter wonderland, a fairy story of glistening decorations and mouth-watering food. The only missing piece is the tree which still stands proudly in its green branches, waiting to be decorated by them all before dinner; an idea that had occurred to Castle late last night, earning him moonlit kisses that had felt a little as if Christmas had come early.

The first knock on their front door sounds out just as Kate's feet find their familiar place in the heels that bring her almost level with his height. And as she does, every cell of his body is crying out for her, begging to be allowed a moment to just stand back and admire the beauty and grace of Kate Beckett, a sudden rush of life as she childishly races to be the first to the door, a magnificent glimmer of golden curls and deep purple silk amidst the Christmas lights that twinkle from every corner.  
But now is not the time, already is she waiting impatiently for Castle to be by her side, wanting to greet their guests together, utterly adorable as she practically bounces with nervous excitement. So he goes to her, mind awhirl with the words that he will whisper against her ivory skin as he unzips her dress later that night, committing to memory the beauty of this moment as their fingers interlock and she throws open the door to a Christmas that promises to be all that they have ever dreamed.

"Merry Christmas, my darlings!" chimes Martha as soon as she sets eyes on them, oozing with the dramatic flair that often seems as if it were created entirely for Martha Rodgers.

"Merry Christmas, Martha." replies Kate, laughter spilling over as she and Castle are both enveloped into a perfumed hug.

Stepping back, Martha takes a second to admire the young couple stood before her, heart drumming with the Motherly love that she holds for the both of them, "Oh, Kate, you are exquisite! Beautiful, simply beautiful."

Clicking the door shut with perhaps a little more force than was necessary, Castle tries his best to distract his Mother's attention away from the blushing cheeks of his beloved detective.

"You too, my boy. Very handsome, I raised you well."

"How about a drink?" he asks, breathing deep as he ushers them all into the apartment, squeezing tight to Kate's hand as if to reassure her that the theatrics would soon ease a little. But he doesn't need to, she's really rather enjoying them; after a lifetime of living in the bitter darkness, she has come to love the sheer exuberance of Castle's family, they are a beacon of joy, and that is exactly what she needs at this time of the year.

"I'll make the drinks, Richard," suggests Martha, directing them both to the other side of the kitchen without even giving them chance to protest, "and you two can fill me in on the details of our Christmas plans. This is a momentous occasion, darlings, we must make every second extraordinary!"

* * *

Alexis arrives not five minutes after her Grandmother, a whirlwind of activity as she discards her bags by the door and rushes to wish them all a Merry Christmas. Goodness, was Castle was glad to have his pumpkin home for the holidays, his arms wrapping so tight around her that she thought he might never let go; a year and a half later and it still felt strange to not see her every day, to know that she was off living a life that was entirely her own. But deep down he knew that she would always be his little girl, a thought timed perfectly with her trying to steal a Christmas cookie without anyone noticing. Yes, he thought, definitely his little girl!

After drinks have been passed around, the four of them gather in the kitchen to catch up on all that has been happening since they were last together, Martha entertaining them with stories of her latest endeavour into the arts and Alexis doing her very best to dodge the not-so subtle questions surrounding her love life.  
But even as they settle effortlessly into the beginnings of Christmas, Castle can't help the ache that tugs at his heart with every fretful glance that Kate gives to the front door; he is all too aware of the reason behind the look of worry that dances amidst the forest flecks of her eyes, and he is equally sure that she has absolutely no need for concern. As he curls their fingers together in a silent promise that everything will be ok, he wants more than anything to tell Kate that he spoke to Jim earlier that morning and that there isn't a single thing in this world that could stop her Dad from joining them for Christmas, but to tell her that would jeopardise his surprise, so for now he has to settle for a supportive hand to hold and the knowledge that all will soon be right with their world.

Thankfully he doesn't have wait long for his certainty to be realised, the steady knock on the door that he has come to recognise as Jim's a welcome relief to his heart and mind that had been at war over his decision to not properly reassure Kate for the sake of the Christmas secret that they were all striving to keep from her for just a little while longer.

Letting their fingers slip apart, he doesn't even try to keep up with her as she rushes to the door, looking suddenly like the little Katie Beckett he has heard so much about as her Dad is bundled into a hug of pure, unguarded relief.  
And with a heartfelt "Merry Christmas" sent out by them all, their celebrations can truly begin.

* * *

Hanging the last of her baubles on the tree, Kate takes a step back to soak in the wonder of the scene that plays out before her eyes, beautifully overwhelmed by the happiness that courses through her veins as she watches the four people whom she loves the most laugh and joke and tell stories of Christmases gone by.  
Last year she had been teetering on the edge of cancelling her plans to join Castle and his family for Christmas, terrified of the memories that she had kept hidden away for such a very long time and questioning her ability to even make it through the day, but they had each helped to heal her shattered heart a little more, showing her the wonders that could still be found within the holiday that had once been her favourite. And this year? This year she had woken up in the arms of the man she loved, tingled with excitement over all that their day would hold; her very own family Christmas that had once felt like distant imaginings made for somebody else, a perfect day of dreams come true. It was, no matter how silly she supposed it would sound to anyone else, her very own Christmas miracle.

Absorbed completely by her own thoughts, it takes Kate a minute to realise that Castle is calling her name, and had probably been doing so for a while if his teasing smile is anything to go by.  
"Sorry," she giggles, cheeks heated pink once again, "what did you say?"

"I think you missed one." he replies, gesturing to the box of decorations which she had been in charge of, something akin to mischief glistening in the reflection of his eyes.

She's sure that the box is empty, certain in fact, but walks back over to look anyway, distracting herself just long enough for the final stage of Castle's plan to fall into place.

Turning around with the empty hands she had predicted, any confusion over his suggestion dies on her lips as she sees him, _her beautiful man_, smiling at her so sweetly she can already feel the sting of tears in her eyes and a blue velvet box sat atop his outstretched palm.  
The world around them melts away as he walks towards her with slow, deliberate steps, taking hold of her hand as he gets down on one knee, smile never faltering as he speaks the words that have danced and twirled within the confines of his mind for weeks leading up to this very moment, "Kate, I have thought about all of the ways in which I could do this, all of the things that I could say, but honestly I do not believe that there are words enough in this world to express how deeply I feel for you. You are my heart and my soul, and I can't even begin to imagine how my life would be if I didn't have you. Last Christmas you told me that you loved me for the first time and I thought that nothing could ever feel as magical as those three words did that night, but the last twelve months of our life together have taught me that each and every day that I spend with you feels a little more wonderful than the last, that every second we have together is blessing. I love you, Katherine Beckett, and I would be honoured to spend the rest of my life as not only your best friend and your partner, but as your husband. Will you marry me?"

She can't move, can't breathe; is so absolutely in awe of Castle's exquisitely beautiful words that her own cannot find their way into the world. She has been expecting this moment, longing for this moment, but now it's here and she feels suddenly shy of her answer, as if she needs to say more.

"Kate?" he asks, voice etched with a worry that tells her too much time has passed, that all she needs to do is speak the only answer that she has ever been certain of in her entire life.

"Yes," she whispers, finding her voice amidst laughter and tears that fall with the weight of their joy, "Yes! Yes, Rick, I will marry you."

Standing up to slide the ring onto her finger with trembling hands, Castle's laughter meets her own as he kisses her like never before, twirling them around to the chorus of their family's cheers of congratulations.

* * *

It is a little before midnight when they say their goodnights to everyone. Castle had invited them to stay the night, but had been assured by all that they didn't want to intrude on their night of celebrations; they would be back tomorrow for a Christmas Day of turkey sandwiches and _It's a Wonderful Life_, but this night belonged to them alone.  
So, with hugs of Christmas wishes and plans for the following day, Kate clicks the door shut, leaning into the concave of Castle's awaiting arms.

"Come on, Mrs. Castle," he whispers, words dancing with a heated longing as they sweep across her pale skin, "we have a lot of celebrating to do."

"Oh, Mr. Beckett, we certainly do." she replies, love and seduction incarnate as she takes him by hand and leads them both into a night perfectly fitting the magic of Christmas time.

* * *

To be continued..

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has added this fic to their alerts, favourites, or left a review ..it means so much to know that you are enjoying my little story.

I promised you all a longer update this time, so I hope that it will make up for the shortness of the first!

Thank you very much for reading,  
and please do drop by a review if you have a moment to do so. I would love to know what you thought?

Hope to be back with another update soon,  
Katie

Twitter: katieupatree


	3. Christmas 2014

**Christmas 2014**

They're already at risk of running more than a little late, but his fingertips are dancing fire along her spine as he eases up the zip of her dress, and for a fleeting, selfish moment of lust she wants more than anything to throw caution to their friends and family who will be arriving at any second for the Christmas party they are throwing and to instead spend the remainder of the night wrapped within the love of their bed sheets.  
But, of course, Kate knows that she can't. This is their night to shine, to shout love from the rooftops and invite the world to join them, and somehow, without her even noticing, that has become something that she cannot wait to do.

They have been planning this party for months, Castle and herself, wanting to add something more to their first Christmas as husband and wife, a tradition that belongs to the both of them. Christmas Eve had been much the same as the year before, perfect in its simple joys of delicious food, sparkling fairy lights, and the beauty of having their entire family together for the night, but this, Christmas Day, promised fun and frivolity for everyone they held dear, and even the temptation of Castle's kiss couldn't keep her from that.

Feeling the click of her zipper as it reached the end of its path, Kate shakes herself free of her wandering day dreams, stepping back with a twirl to allow Castle a view of the dress that Lanie and Alexis had convinced her to buy on a day of girly indulgence not two weeks before.  
"What do you think?" she asks, rosy cheeked and almost shy as his darkened eyes take her in entirely, absorbing every intricate detail of her exquisite beauty.

"Perfect," he replies, voice a breathless whisper, a longing that she knows all too well, "you, my darling, are more beautiful with every day that passes."

And then his hands are tangled hungrily in the curls of golden hair that fall elegantly over her shoulders, the warmth of his body drawing her in for a kiss that she never wants to stop. Oh, how her heart aches with the desire to run away into the night and show him how grateful she is for his loving words that never fail to steal her breath away, but she's already been through this, they have a party awaiting them and an apartment that is mere minutes away from being filled to the very edges with friends and family, not to mention her Christmas surprise that only Lanie and her Dad currently know of.

Kate can't help the butterflies that dance low in her belly as their doorbell interrupts the last, lingering seconds of their kiss, giggling as she gently wipes the smudge of lipstick from Castle's cheek and pulls them both towards their night of festivities.

* * *

She hates to interrupt Lanie and Esposito when they both look so happily entwined within the love and laughter of their tipsy conversation, but she has been itching to check with Lanie that everything is in place for her surprise Christmas present to Castle from the moment her best friend walked through the door and she knows that she won't be able to settle until she has. This is too important, too special to have anything go wrong, and she desperately needs Lanie to calm her down a little, to reassure her that she is doing the right thing.

With a whispered promise to Javi that she will be back soon, Lanie follows Kate up the stairs and along the corridor to the room that holds within its walls the surprise that they have been planning for the past month.  
Clicking the door shut behind them, Kate fidgets nervously as she waits for her friend to take in the first tiny transformations of the room that has for years stood empty and unloved, a room that promised to be more beautiful than either of them could imagine when it was finished.

"Oh, Katie." she sighs, unable to find any other words as she blinks back tears of happiness that threaten to fall.

"Are you sure it's not too much? I mean, not just the room, but everything. This whole idea just suddenly seems so..."

Holding tight to Kate's hands, Lanie does all that she can to assure her best friend, who is usually so sure and certain of herself, that everything is going to be ok. "Sshhh, don't get yourself all worked up. I know you, Kate; I know how easily you talk yourself out of the things that you want the most, and I am not letting you do that tonight."

"But, Lanie, what if he's not ready?"

"I've seen that way that boy looks at you; believe me, he's ready."

"You think?" she asks, smiling brightly despite herself.

"I know." replies Lanie, grateful to have her beautiful Kate back, to watch as her last painful twists of uncertainty and self doubt fade entirely. "And this," she adds, suddenly remembering the reason that they had needed to meet upstairs and carefully handing Kate the beautifully wrapped gift that had been hidden in her bottom draw for the past two weeks, "is for you."

Setting the little box in its place, Kate knew that she had been foolish to question her surprise, and even more so to question that Castle would be anything other than overjoyed. "Thank you, Lanie, I couldn't have done this without you."

"Oh, Sweetie, I wouldn't have let you if you tried." laughs Lanie, linking her arm through Kate's and leading them both back towards the party, "come on, writer boy will be sending out a search team if you're back in his arms soon."

* * *

Finally he catches sight of her again, his heart thrumming with the thrill of love as Kate walks down the stairs, her laughter so wonderfully carefree as Lanie whispers something that flushes her cheeks adorably pink before returning to her earlier conversation with Esposito. He can't even begin to think why they disappeared upstairs, but something in the way she is looking at him as they make their way towards each other once again tells Castle that he doesn't need to worry, he'll know soon enough.

"Miss me?" she giggles, body pressed flush against his chest and arms entwining themselves around his neck.

"Absolutely." he replies, words hot against her skin as he captures her smiling lips with his own.

But their glimmering moment is interrupted by the chime of a glass from somewhere to their left, a smirk passing between Ryan and Esposito as they call for a speech from the hosts of the party, the cheers and wolf whistles that ring out from the entire room too great to ignore.

Neither wanting to let go of one another, Castle begins their speech of sorts with Kate tucked close to his side, spare hand cheekily stealing his Mother's champagne glass so that he has something to toast with. "There are a lot of things that I could say tonight, but I have found that the best words are often the simplest, so I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for making our Christmas as special as you have. It is an honour to be celebrating with you here tonight and I hope that it is something we will continue to do for many years to come. To my family, my friends, and my extraordinary Kate, I wish you all a Merry Christmas!"

With a bubbly echo of "Merry Christmas!" Castle nods to Alexis to start the playlist that she had put together for the night, filling their apartment with Christmas songs that demanded to be danced to, officially starting the party that would forever remain in his heart as one of the most wonderful times of his life.

* * *

Somewhere at the back of his mind Castle is aware of the almost midnight hour, of the rooms that are slowly opening up as friends and family alike say their goodbyes and promise to see each other again before the new year, of the songs that play softly into the cool winter air, but his head is too woozy with love and wine and the magic of this night to really concentrate on the details. All that he knows for sure is Kate; the tight grip of her hands and the ghost of her hair as they spin and twirl and kiss under the ethereal blanket of fairy lights and mistletoe. _She is perfect, she is home_.

He is so completely absorbed in his beautiful imaginings that Kate's words startle him a little, tickled with sweetness as she leans up to whisper the words that are for him alone, "I have an extra present for you."

And then they're not dancing anymore, but rather her lips are a whisper of a memory against his own as she is leading him up the stairs that he had known held something special from the moment he saw her and Lanie earlier that night. A thousand possibilities are twirling through his mind as Kate leads him along the corridor; some sheer madness he is sure, but others seem to dance and twirl on the very edge of reality, as if life itself was a tangible thing, as if he could simply reach out and take any number of his wild thoughts and turn them into the truth. _Calm down, _he thinks, _breathe deep and don't allow your mind to run away with itself, everything will soon be revealed. _

She stops them with a determination that feels a little like being in the interrogation room at the 12th, searching the very depths of his eyes until she is certain that she has his full attention, "You're not allowed to interrupt, ok? Whatever you're thinking, whatever you want to say, you're not allowed to interrupt until I have explained everything."

"Ok." he replies, still completely lost as to what his present could be.

"Promise me, Rick?"

Squeezing tight to her fingers that remain interlocked with his own, Castle lets her know that he understands; perhaps not the situation, but he knows Kate well enough to realise that her request, whatever the reason behind it, isn't something that he can go against, "I promise."

When she walks them into the room that hasn't been used since Alexis was a baby he is sure that his heart is beating so loudly that she can hear it, a pounding drum that ignites within his veins a dream that until this night he had been afraid to hope for, terrified of longing for something that might never happen.  
But now, now that dream doesn't seem so far away at all. The faded wallpaper that hadn't even been looked at since his baby girl learnt to walk has been stripped, the little room now bright and airy in its newly painted walls, white washed and gleaming with the promise of more. And then there is the chair, the ornately carved rocking chair that he has seen a hundred times in pictures of Kate as a baby in her Mother's arms, seeming even more beautiful in real life.  
A chorus of questions run through his mind, demanding to be asked, to be set free, but he promised to not to speak, to let Kate explain first, and he intends to keep that promise, no matter how impossible it may seem.

She hands him a rectangular gift box with trembling hands, watching him as she does with an expression that he can't quite read; nervousness and excitement and something more, something new.

"Open it." she says, eyes never leaving their hold on his own.

He slowly peels back the paper, careful not to tear its edges, instinctively knowing that he will want to keep it tucked safely away in his old, wooden chest of treasures and trinkets forevermore. When the box inside falls into his awaiting hands he knows that every hope and dream of his soul is about to come true, for hidden beneath the ruby red paper is the cardboard casing of a home pregnancy test.

"Kate?" he questions, knowing that he promised not to speak, but needing to say something, anything at all to calm the uncontrollable race of his heart.

She's smiling brighter than he has ever seen before, the strangeness of her expression from moments before melted into happiness and joy, a dizzying gratitude for his determination to do all that he can to keep his promise of no interruptions.

His hands are taken up by the little pastel box that he can't bring himself to let go of, so Kate holds tight to his wrists as if he is her anchor to the world, soaking in his strength as she begins her explanation, "I spent almost my entire adult life trying to convince myself that I didn't want to have children; telling myself that my job was too dangerous, that the world was too evil, that the risks were too great, and it almost worked, I almost believed myself. But then, Rick, I fell in love with you and everything that I had ever known changed. It changed because you taught me how to love, how to live, and I knew that one day my heart would be strong enough to face the dangers and the evils and the risks, because to spend a single second with our child would be worth an eternity of heartache. Neither of us can know what our lives will hold, but that doesn't matter, we have each other, always, and I'm not scared anymore. I want a life with you, a family with you, and so this year my Christmas present is not so much gift to you, but a question for the both of us; Richard Castle, will you have a baby with me?"

His lips meet Kate's with an answer that words alone can't convey; searing kisses that are messy and deliberate, telling her _yes, yes of course I will have a baby with you!  
_Their tears of unguarded joy run freely together and their laughter fills the spaces between their entwined bodies as they both forget the world around them entirely and fall recklessly into the love that will pass between them that night. Castle aware only of his desire to touch, to caress, to worship every delicate inch of her body; to say thank you in the only way that he knows how for the magical gift that Kate had given him. Both doing all that they can to show that this is it, _this is their future_, that together they are running fast into the promise of a beautiful baby who will be a perfect half of each of them, and they're never going to look back.

* * *

To be continued..

I just want to leave a quick note to say thank you to anyone who has left an anonymous review for this story. It always makes me a little sad that I can't write back to say thank you personally, but I hope that you will see this and know how much I appreciate your lovely words.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter?

Thank you ever so much for reading!  
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas,  
Katie x


	4. Christmas 2015

**Christmas 2015**

It takes Castle a while to find his place in the waking world, soothed almost back to dreams by the warmth of the extra blankets that have found a home in their bed for the winter months and the thin-mooned light that keeps watch over the city. He turns towards Kate's side of the bed to catch a glimpse of their alarm clock, expecting to find her soundly sleeping, but is instead greeted by empty sheets, the heat of her body still pressed to their ivory threads. Now he knows what had awoken him; even in sleep he could feel her absence, the dip of their mattress and the delicate pad of her feet against the floorboards, his heart always longing to be beside hers.

In the six weeks since their baby girl had been born, their beautiful Elizabeth with eyes an emerald mirror of her Mama's, they had fallen into a routine that neither could remember living without. The sleepless nights feeling a little easier when they were balanced between the both of them, their years of partnership a rehearsal for parenthood.  
But, tonight, something is telling Castle to go in search of Kate; to share in the too early hours of their daughter's first Christmas, to treasure every possible second of holiday magic.

* * *

His feet stall as he catches sight of her, breath hitched with love as he soaks in every detail of the scene playing out beautifully before his eyes; his darling Kate, body cuddled comfortably into the sofa and blankets strewn haphazardly across her legs, hair a messy tumble of golden curls that are illuminated by the fairy lights that twinkle from their place on the Christmas tree that was decorated with their family and friends not half a day ago, lips curved into a smile as she speaks softly to the little girl in her arms.

He doesn't join them straight away, waits on the sidelines for just a while longer, allowing himself the simple pleasure of watching all that their life together has become; in that moment feeling more like a fairy tale than reality, a wonderful place where anything was possible and the promise of their own happily ever after thrummed within his very soul. Cherishing the secret hours that would soon become memories, collecting each second as if they were stories he had written; saving them to look back over when they are both old and grey, smiling as he takes Kate's hand in his own and feeling all over again the joys of Christmas time.

He listens to the whispered conversation that passes between his wife and their daughter, Kate's words a lullaby of their Christmases past. He had missed the beginning of her story telling, but was soon caught up, finding her thoughts cast back to 2012, to their first Christmas as a couple, the worry that had turned into joy, and the gift that Kate had left against his kiss stained lips.

"It seems silly now," spoke Kate, Castle utterly enchanted as he watches from the doorway leading out of his study, quiet so as not to disturb them, "that your Daddy had made me so nervous. I had never loved anyone that much before, and it made me a little scared to speak. You'll know how that feels one day, when you're all grown up and the most beautiful girl in the world, you'll meet someone so wonderful that it's almost too much. But don't be afraid, Lizzie, never let yourself be too scared to love. Be like your Daddy, be brave and courageous with your heart, experience the world with love as your guiding force."

Castle knows that it's not possible for him to love Kate anymore than he already does; his heart beats for her and his lungs breathe for her, every cell of his being belongs to her completely, and yet, listening to her telling the story of their life together feels like falling in love all over again. _Beautiful beyond words; beyond explanation._

"Then there was the Christmas when Daddy proposed to me," continues Kate, capturing Castle back from his wandering thoughts, "Your big sister was home from her first year of college, and Grandma was teasing her about the boy she had met whilst studying for exams in the library, and Grandpa Jim was so happy to be a part of a real family Christmas again. And your Daddy, he had the greatest of surprises planned for me. I still remember exactly what he said, _I love you, Katherine Beckett, and I would be honoured to spend the rest of my life as not only your best friend and your partner, but as your husband. _Oh, baby girl, it was the most perfect moment of my entire life."

Castle couldn't help but smile with her at the memory, although, his mind was filled not with his own words, but rather those that had followed; hearing Kate say yes to his proposal, that had felt more spectacular than he could have ever imagined.

"And last year I got to surprise your Daddy, to say thank you for the years of wonder that he had given me. That was the night that brought us to you, even if it took a while longer than we had thought it would, you are our little Christmas miracle."

He can't stay away any longer, needs them both so much closer, aches to hold Kate in his arms and watch as her stories flutter peacefully into Lizzie's dreams.

"Merry Christmas," he exhales, voice almost shy as he walks to where they are sat, a winter wonderland of decorations lining his path.

"Merry Christmas," replies Kate, smile infectiously bright and fingers reaching out to take his hand in her own, drawing him down so that she is wrapped tightly in his embrace, nuzzling herself into the spaces made perfectly to fit. "How long have you been there?"

"Not long," he says, both knowing that he isn't quite telling the true, their first kiss of Christmas Day telling each other that neither would have wanted it to be any other way.

* * *

It isn't until Castle feels her yawn for the fifth time in as many minutes that he realises how much time has passed, minutes running into hours as the world around them had dissipated and all that they had known was the press of each other's body and the soft murmurs of their finally sleeping baby, content to just be in the glittering happiness of their little family.

"Shall we go to bed?" he asks, lips so close that they dance with warmth against the shell of her ear.

"Soon," she answers, words tender with the hazy memory of sleep, "let's just stay a little while longer."

"Okay," he replies, knowing that she'll be asleep almost before he has finished speaking, leaning ever closer to the safety of his arms.

It is a start to their Christmas better than dreams; the gift of a perfect moment of love.

**End.**

* * *

I would like to offer my most sincere apologies for how long it has taken me to finish this story.  
It seems a little silly to be posting a Christmas fic in July, but I finally had the time to write the ending how I wanted it to be. I hope that the timing hasn't put you off too much.

If you have a spare second, I would love to know what you thought?

Thank you very much for reading,  
Katie xx


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